Well, the last official day of my being 14 years old comes to a close. And so, I shall spend a little while contemplating my existence.
This past year has been one of surprises, growth, and insight. Last year, my worldview was vastly different from what it is now. Last year, God really wasn’t a big part of my life. Guys were seen as annoying, dirty, cruel, and utterly incapable of friendship (wow did I get that one wrong!) My family was just a bother. I saw myself as worthless, undeserving of love.
Looking back, my thirteenth year of life wasn’t at all fun. This fourteenth one, though, has been full of new friends (like Gabe and Evelyn!) new experiences (Winning at Fair!) and a new understanding of God, of His great love for me and for everyone. I learned to smile more, to laugh more, to not be afraid of people in general and guys in particular.
I’ll miss being fourteen. It has been quite the ride. But something tells me that being fifteen will even better. 🙂
Love to all!
-Tani
Surrender the Brownies 
I hope you kept a journal of it all. Or at least some of it…. Rereading journals is so fun.
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I’ve kept three! There’s the secret journal, which is red (and hidden where nobody can find it!! MUAHAHAH!! Well, as long as nobody looks in my bookcase…) and then the not-so-secret journal, which has flowers in it, and which a few people I know could benefit very much by reading (including my sister Zoe and Gabe) and then there’s the public journal, AKA this blog. 🙂
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I’ve filled up four journals already… I have a bad habit of writing down EVERYTHING. 500 years from now, my descendants will be saying, “We have the dullest greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandmother EVER.”
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Youre not dull! Your descendents will be saying “WOW!!! we had the coolest granny EVER!!!!! She was so awesome, and smart, and wise, and thoughtful, and overall wonderful!! Oh, WHY can we not be more like her?!?” 😛
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Hopefully I didnt lay the praise on too thick… *hides*
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I wonder how long it will take his Royal Gabeness to find this one, and my oh-so-subtle (not) hinting….
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well, I found it. but I’m not sure I detect any hinting. unless you’re talking about me benefiting from reading your journal or how you thought guys were incapable or friendship…
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My work here…is done.
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Augh!!! you’re trying to kill me!!
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me? How?
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you were, and possibly still are, driving me insane, but I can’t be sure…
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Ever stop to wonder if maybe I’m just trying very hard to not only drive you insane, but also work out my frustration by acting abnormally hyper and goofy? Just a thought.
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no. but if it makes you feel better, then by all means, feel free
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to drive me ALMOST insane
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Or I could be mature and leave… *sigh* thats probably a better choice. Im sorry 😦
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AUGH!!! that WOULD drive me insane! then I would never find out what on earth you’re talking about!
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If you ever found out what I really mean by all this, you would probably run in terror.
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you’ve said that, like, a lot of times before…
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I have indeed, and it’s true.
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you’ve insisted about that too
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Great, I have run out of comments.
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*hint* you could tell me the truth *hint, hint*
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*hint* there are a lot of people who would be very mad if I did *hint hint*
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that’s… odd
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that’s true.
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and that’s unhelpful
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And that is true too.
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are you hinting about the red hidden bookshelf journal?
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No. No I’m not. I’m not hinting at all really.
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then are you just overtly saying it, or are you hinting at a nonexistent hint?
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Actually, I’m trying to confuse you into leaving, its a good tactic.
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actually, no it’s not, because you have me convinced that there is something at the bottom of this, and every other time you’ve done that, I’ve stayed through to the end. And if you want me to go, you could just say you’re tired or whatever reason you want me to leave, ask me to get off, and then I would…
that wasn’t a reproachful rant
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Whatever you’re waiting for, it’s not coming. This is one secret you will not get to hear, at least for now.
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I think you’ve told me that before too. and again, you could just ask me to get off, if that’s what you want
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And the tactic worked then too.
I would, but I know well enough that i would feel very bad later for having been such a jerk on here, and so i’m now trying to think up ways to mend the situation without getting into too many more terrible scrapes.
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ok. ummm… (I’m thinking of a way to help) why would anyone be mad if you told me THIS secret?
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Age would be an issue, as well as family dynamics.
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what do you mean?
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BTW, we’re still talking on the blog, in case you care about anyone else reading this conversation
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If I told you what I mean, you would guess, and then what would be the point of this madness!?! How about I say that you are just not ready to hear what it is, and leave it at that?
((i know, thats what’s keeping me from saying anything too horrible))
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does it have anything to do with you liking me?
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Yes and No.
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well, at least that time I got a yes and no answer
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You should count yourself lucky now!
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Ah well, I think I’m leaving, lest you persuade me to say more. Bye! Talk later!
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good night! and I mean it! go to sleep! I’m gonna pray for you, just know that.
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Thank you!!! I apologize for all my stupidity, I shall be better in the morning 🙂
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That’s ok 🙂
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Where’s the popcorn smiley when you need it?! Tani, you need to PM me about whatever the heck is going on.
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wait, so you don’t know either?
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Now I do. Sorry, Gabe, but as I am a) not you, and b) another girl, I get special priviliges.
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hmmm… in that case, do you agree with everything tacha said last night, like how I would run in terror if I knew?
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Yah, sorry, but Evelyn did get to hear. Oh, BTW, hey Ev!
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grrr…
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*is afraid, is very afraid*
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Honestly, I don’t know you well enough to say for sure. But if I had to guess, you’d sit there and blink a few times, trying to figure out what just happened.
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Yes, I agree. I took your advice Evelyn, and i shall try. 🙂
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interesting…
try what?
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Oh, she gave me some exceptional insight and advice yesterday. Kiitos, Ev, I am in your debt!
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\:-(
I assume that telling me the advice would give away too much?
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you assume correctly. But do not bother yourself over it, all will happen at the proper time for it’s ordering.
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wait… so you ARE going to tell me eventually?
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Yes, but the key word here is “eventually”
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aren’t you house-sitting?
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I should be, but that got canceled, due to a request from Miriam that I come to the board meeting tonight. Zoe is doing it tonight for me.
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Wow, that last comment looks weird.
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true.
cool! what board?
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HFHE board, Mom is the prez, Mrs. Solinsky is a member. Thankfully, they are meeting at Sweet Tomatoes tonight. Ice cream time!!! YAY!!!!
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oh, that board. cool!
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