Let me start with this- I am a teenage girl. I like romance movies and Jane Austen, I like lacy tops and floaty skirts, and most importantly: I like boys. I can’t really help it, it’s natural, but I can keep my head straight with most guys and talk with some degree of coherence.
And then, a few months ago, the unthinkable happened. I developed…
I have already spoken of codename Crush F, for Frank Churchill, so I shan’t speak of the fop again. But, suffice to say, it didn’t work out (most crushes don’t, have you noticed?) and now I’m rather sad.
I have had my share of crushes (at least 4 major ones within the past 5 years and about a dozen smaller ones.) I could name a few, but some of those people actually might visit my blog, so I won’t. Usually, getting over a crush includes lots of crying, lots of anger, lots of venting to girl friends, lots of comments on how “all men are horrible and nasty yada yada yada” which nobody actually means, and other immature coping mechanisms, ultimately ending when you get a new crush. This time, I just felt sad. See, I knew- I knew- this wasn’t the right guy. And now that he’s out of the picture, I’m not angry at him, cause I deserved better than him anyway. So here I am, ready to flirt with other guys and get a new crush so that I can move on! Cause that’s how moving on works, right?
Yeah…. no. See, a friend and I were talking after she broke up with her boyfriend. She was the happiest broken-up person I had talked to all week (amid several other heartbroken friends) and I wondered why this was. She eventually told me that she had joined a bible studies class on 1 Corinthians 7, in which St. Paul writes extensively on marriage. I looked it up, and started reading, at this stuck out to me.
“Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.” (1 Cor. 7:27)
Dude, is Paul saying that if you aren’t dating someone, you should NOT actively be looking for a date? Cause to me, that’s exactly what he’s saying. The entire chapter talks about how a man and woman should be focused first on God, not on each other. This is a tough verse. I’m a single girl. I’m surrounded by couples being all couple-y together. The culture loudly screams that if you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you’re worthless. THAT IT SO DAMN EASY TO BELIEVE, MY GOSH, PEOPLE. I fall into it, you fall into it, guys and girls and maybe even Nates fall into it. (Hi Nate!)
Maybe the Holy Spirit is gently reminding me that I’m not ready to date yet. A lot of my posts here deal with dating and guys and the roller coaster that goes between liking a guy and not liking a guy and back again. But it’s something that I need to hear over, and over, and over again. So, people, I know I’ve usually ended such posts with the usual “you deserve better” shtick, but let’s not go out looking for that better, alright? That Better Person will eventually be lead to you, and you to them. In the meantime, the only real relationship you should pursue is one with ice cream, because ice cream isn’t going to break your heart. Ice cream understands. Oh yeah, and pray more. You and I don’t pray enough yet. So pray, and eat ice cream, and don’t date until God leads you to the right person. Got it?
Love to all!