Who am I? What am I worth? What do others think of me? Am I “good enough?”
If you’re a human being, you’ve probably asked yourself these questions at least once in your life. In the end, it’s just a simple question. Am I lovable? What makes me lovable? Now, I’m going to show you a series of pictures. I want you to pick four that are attractive. I don’t mean sexy or pretty, just pick the images that give you that gut reaction that the people or objects portrayed are good and will make you happy.
What did you choose? If you are a normal human being, you naturally gravitated to the images that showed power, wealth, beauty, and romance. That gut reaction wasn’t there for images of poverty, mundaneness, celibacy. I’m not saying one group of things was better than the other, but I am saying that, far too often, what we perceive as our human value depends on things like power, wealth, or love. Why? Why why why why why?!? You, and I, have bought into a horrific lie. Well, three lies.
- You are worth something if you are “pretty”- those who aren’t “pretty” are worth less than those who are. (Insert cultural idea of “pretty” here- skinny or curvy, blonde or brunette, tall or short, etc.)
- You are worth something if you are rich. Those who aren’t rich are worth less than those who are.
- You are worth something if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Those who do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend are worth less than those who do.
And so here we are, those of us who aren’t in the culturally acceptable prettiness box, who don’t have Louboutin shoes and Chanel perfume, who don’t have a date and feel like we’re the only ones in the WORLD who don’t. Friends, this is not our worth. Our worth isn’t in how much we have, it’s in how much we love. Our worth isn’t in how we look, it’s in how we love. Our worth isn’t in our romantic potential, it’s in how we love in the nitty-gritty, when diapers need changing and your friend needs a hug and you’re tired and you’re sick and someone calls you out of the blue because they just want to talk to you, and you let them because that’s love! That’s your worth!
Anorexia and bulimia kill thousands of people every year, and the death rate is four times higher than with any other disease (in the US alone, an estimated 24 MILLION people are battling an eating disorder right now. That is three times the population of New York City!) People idolize the wealthy, and live beyond their means, buying the newest cars and best clothes and ending up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. Every damn day, I hear more and more crying from people that they need a boyfriend or a girlfriend, they need someone to love them, they’re lonely, they’re worthless. And so these people wallow in endless self-pity, so absorbed in their poisonous mentality that they forget to love. They hurt and the hurt others, and more people feel bad about themselves, and on and on it goes.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. If you feel unloved, the cure is to love. When I’m helping someone feel better about themselves (I am the queen of writing affirmations, and of being proud about odd things!) I feel glowing, like I’ve done something worthwhile. I’ve done something that a person will remember far after they’ve forgotten what shoes I wore or whether or not I had a boyfriend when I said it. If you feel worthless, stop stewing in your own depressing juices for a second and see that other people feel the same way! Go and help them! It is the ONLY WAY OUT. You don’t feel pretty? Tell someone else they look good. Feel bad that you’re poor? Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Feeling lonely and un-dateable? Dry your eyes and find someone who is lonely at school or an old person at a nursing home, and visit them. You’ll be downright floored at how quickly you feel loved, you feel needed, you feel worth-while!
Lastly, friends, and most importantly, I will say that the only worthlessness in life is to never let your life be of worth. Your life is always worth something. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have a marvelous capacity to love. Don’t let it go to waste. The only worthless people I know are the people who are so absorbed in self-pity that they don’t love anyone else.
Oh, and Evelyn-
JESUS LUVS YOO ALL!!!
Love to all!